That Post Pregnancy Cocktail

Pregnant ladies dream of having a drink. Seriously. One who hates beer may suddenly find herself 4 months pregnant on a warm spring day and craving a cold bud light so badly she would do just about anything to get her hands on one. I spent all of last summer dreaming of the day that I would enjoy an angry orchard with my pizza. I would have my baby as the end of summer approached, and my cocktail could once again make its appearance during lazy Friday night dinners at home.

Oh how wrong I was.
My baby will be 9 months old in a few weeks (hysterical sobbing) and I still am not ‘indulging’ as I would like to. Now, let me be clear. I am not a party girl (minus that one year in college…) I do not get wild and crazy. I have a strict 9pm bedtime (no joke). But I have yet to throw back a drink without ensuring baby has been put to bed and won’t be waking for a snack. Ok, actually I have done this. And guess what. Baby woke up and wanted a snack, which means hauling down to the freezer, thawing a bag of milk, preparing a bottle, and then feeding a furious baby who is hungry and knows that mama is holding him, so why are you trying to shove a second rate bottle in my mouth, forcryingoutloud. The kid is spoiled and has specific dining preferences, what can I say.
The reality is, unless you plan to formula feed, don’t budget weekend cocktails into your post baby diet just yet. If I thought pregnancy was a commitment…breastfeeding, oi. I am glad I did (still am) doing it. I 100% plan to do it for all of my children. And I will also do a happy dance when the pump goes away forever. 

For expectant, future, or uncertain mothers, a simple (and by simple I mean complicated where having that cocktail really just might not be worth it) thing to keep in mind is that your body needs two hours per drink before your milk is ‘ok’ to give your baby. Feeling extra fun and going for *gasp* TWO drinks with your dinner? Well those fun little newborns love to eat around the clock, so kiss this option goodbye.
Maybe I’m sounding scary. Or maybe dramatic. We all know you can pump’n’dump. But I’m a milk hoarder, y’all. My mom (who does 95% of baby’s bottle feedings) has informed me I need to start storing my stash at home because her basement freezer has reached capacity. Woops. But you spend 20 minutes pumping the stuff and then watch it slowly pour down the drain and tell me you aren’t crying on the inside. I will say it is worth it, but it ain’t easy. I’ll just wait to enjoy my drinks worry free until I am baby free. At which point I will be a round the clock child chauffeur and will be picking up homesick kids from sleepovers.
Mom life.

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